Addiction Issues

Let's say you've met the perfect guy for you, and things have been going great. But since you've been getting to know more about him, you discover that he has an addiction. Maybe it's cigarettes, alright you can handle that it isn't that big of a deal; but maybe it is something a little more serious than that, and I don't mean weed. What if this guy has a full blown addiction to heroin?

Now this is a great guy, he makes you happy and you enjoy spending time with him, so what are you supposed to do when you find out that he has a serious drug problem?

You can't ignore the problem and pretend it isn't there, it is something that will negatively effect your relationship. The addiction could take over and ruin the relationship you are building, so what you need to do is confront him about it. Talk it over, discuss rehab possibilities and get some help for him. If it is something he is ashamed of he probably wants to stop, he just doesn't know how. The best thing you can do is be there for him, and help him through it by being there for him during the detox process.

Not every relationship can conquer a battle with drugs, but they can survive. You need to be able to handle the situation, and if you can't then you need to think about yourself and your emotional well being. Being there for the guy you like through his struggles can take a toll on your own personal health, so don't forget that you may need a break from the relationship. I've been there, and there is only so much you can do, but don't let the addiction take over your life as well. His health is important but your emotional health needs to be taken care of as well.

Even though he may be the perfect guy, a serious addiction can change how the relationship works. Be supportive, and understanding, but don't forget about yourself in the process.

Photo taken from: http://www.drugrehab.co.uk/images/outsyringe.jpeg

First Date Do's And Don'ts

First date's have unwritten rules, well they're being written now.

Do:
-Be charming
-Be polite
-Be witty
-Be yourself
-Eat slowly
-Laugh at jokes

Don't:
-Pick your nose
-Chew with your mouth open
-Dominate the conversation
-Try too hard
-Pick at how your date looks
-Pick at food between your teeth
-Fart/burp
-Bite your nails
-Flirt with the waiter/waitress
-Text someone else
-Have loud phone conversations
-Swear profusely
-Sneeze into your food
-Talk during a movie
-Don't interrupt
-Don't cheap out on the bill

Seems pretty simple, but we've all had horrible dates with someone. Sometimes it seems as though they aren't trying to impress you, and if any of those things occur on a first date that are on the "don't" list then I guarantee you won't get to date number two.

Photo taken from: http://www.learnamericanenglishonline.com/images/friends%20at%20theater%20talking.jpg

Things That Aren't Attractive To Women

There are certain styles, if that's what you can call them, that many guys have picked up lately. But let's be serious here the way you dress has a huge impact on whether a girl will date you or not, and you also look ridiculous.

Pull Up Your Pants
Really, no more Kevin Federline, he was famous for all of five seconds because he married and then knocked up the train wreck that is Britney Spears. So why do guys still dress like this douche-bag? Pants should cover your ass, there is no excuse for your boxers to be the only thing separating your hairy butt cheeks from society. Even worse are the guys that wear a belt with their pants that are dangling below the ass, most girls will not give you the time of day if you can't even remember to pull up those pants.

Bend The Rim
A baseball cap is meant to block the sun from your eyes, this is not very useful if the brim of your hat is flat. I'm not sure when this look started to become popular, but it is ridiculous. Your hat should not be sideways on your head nor should it have a flattened brim. What's worse than this is when the sticker is still on the brim (does that mean you might return it?) and when the brim is tilted up (you look like an idiot). This look does nothing for you unless you are looking for a girl that is really into that sort of thing, perhaps her name would be Shaniqua.

Fake Tans & Spiked Hair
After The Jersey Shore, I feel that these two go hand in hand. Normal girls, aka those that do not go by the name of Snooki, do not want to date a guy with an oompa loompa skin color. The spiked hair went out with boy bands, the over gelled style should not be worn anymore. If I tried to touch your hair my hand would probably bounce away from how much product is in it. Just because some idiots that appeared on MTV dressed like this does not mean that everyone else in the world wants to date you, do not model yourself off of anyone from the cast of The Jersey Shore unless it's to make fun of them.

There are many faux pas out there, but these are three that seem to be most prevalent to guys today. They will not attract a woman, in fact it will probably drive them away if they see these things.

Photo taken from: http://www.wiskate.com/news/data/upimages/tim_tizzy.jpg

Stalking Your Crush With Facebook

Let's be serious, we all do it. Don't sit there acting all high and mighty as though you don't try to find that person you like via Facebook, you're just lying to yourself. College makes Facebook stalking easier than ever because there is usually someone that knows the name of the person you think is cute/hot.
I know my guy friends will immediately log onto Facebook after dinner once they learned the name of some girl they thought was gorgeous. They look at her pictures, check to see if she is single, and they will look at the interests section to get an idea of what that girl is like. Most of us don't have the balls to go up to the person we like, and why would we when Facebook makes it ten times easier to just admire from afar?
Now if this creeps you out a bit, and it kind of should because chances are you've been Facebook creeped by someone you don't know, take the necessary precautions. There are ways to make your profile only available to people you are friends with, you can block your pictures and interests sections with the click of a mouse.
The days of casually walking up to someone and asking for their name and phone number are long gone because with Facebook we can probably get your name, phone number, screen name, and all the pictures we want of you just by entering your name in the search box.
You stalk, they stalk, I stalk via Facebook. Everyone has done this on multiple occasions but they don't like to own up to it. Don't be embarrassed about it because we all do it, but beware of your own account and don't be surprised if the one you're stalking suddenly makes their profile private. If that's the case either give up the hunt, friend request them, or simply try to be their friend outside of the internet.

Photo taken from: http://a4.vox.com/6a00d4142121106a4700e3989bbfc40003-500pi

Staying Friends After a Breakup

Breakups are difficult, but what's harder than the actual breakup? Staying friends. Most relationships end with one party mentioning that "but I don't want to lose you as a friend," sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't; actually almost every relationship ends and then there is no communication afterward. I've maintained one of my ex's as a close friend over the years and have made it work so that it is not awkward for either of us and here's how.

Same interests blossom a friendship: Depending on how long you were with your ex will depend on how close the two of you really were. Relationships are generally formed because you have a lot in common with that person, so keeping them as a friend shouldn't be too difficult. You both have the same interests and possibly the same hobbies all you have to do is make sure that you don't hang out as often as you did while dating, maybe once a week to start.

Distance is your friend: Keep some distance because you are broken up, so don't call or text your ex every moment of every day, they want freedom to meet other people so give them that freedom. But be there for them if they need to talk about something. This plays in with the interests portion, you have similar interests but you can't be together everyday because then you are reverting back to a relationship.

Don't get jealous: It's natural that your ex will become interested in other people besides you, so when they do don't let the green monster get loose. Your ex will probably feel the need to talk about their new crush with you because they value your opinion, but you have to be honest. Don't bad mouth someone that your ex likes because you don't want them dating someone else just give an honest opinion. You ended a relationship with this person so don't get ridiculously envious when they start hanging out with someone new.

These are three things I was able to do with one of my ex's and he and I are very close friends. We ended up with a great friendship that we didn't want to ruin, even though we thought about getting back together we both knew that it would ruin the friendship we both had. Not all ex's can become friends but there are some people you don't want to lose in your life, and if your ex is one of them play it cool and you should be able to maintain a decent friendship with them.

Photo taken from: http://www.breakupgirl.net/comics/images12/sfriends01.gif

Where To?

Once you have a date with someone the real problem is determining where to go. There are a lot of options but depending on what kind of environment you feel most comfortable in will vary on how well the date goes. Here are 3 suggestions on where to go for a date.

1. The Aquarium
It's a great place to walk around in, to spark discussions on either memories of field trips, or just about which sea creatures you think are the most interesting. It is a comfortable environment and there are always new exhibits to check out.

2. Day Trip
Day trips are perfect for getting to know the person you are dating. You can choose where to go based on where you live, but try to pick a place that has plenty of options on where to go and what to do while there. Maine is a wonderful state for this because it has beaches, shopping, restaurants, amusement parks, and tons of things to look at. Try to find neutral ground somewhere that has something for everyone so that you can please your date.

3. Dinner & Movie
Cliche I know but it's a classic that seems to work. The ideal would be that this is saved for something like a third date, not a first. Movies require silence and you should be comfortable enough with the person you are with to spend about two hours in a dark theater in silence. After the movie either get dinner, drinks, or dessert somewhere close by and just talk about the movie. It's a comfortable environment and allows for two locations in one night. Don't toss out this as a possible date night activity since it always seems to work.

There are always plenty of options but these three date ideas will help to get to know the person you are with, and allow you to not only learn more about them but to start feeling comfortable while doing things together by exploring new places.

Photo taken from: http://www.cheapdateideas.ca/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/dinnerandmovie.jpg

TMI

Too Much Information

A little goes a long way. When you are looking for someone to date, you don't want to scare them away with your whole life story. Most people get nervous and will just start rambling on and on about things that their date does not want to hear. How do you avoid this?

1. Don't reveal anything about an ex unless it was asked by your date. This person does not want the information on how that relationship went during each month you dated your ex. Just give a brief summary of the relationship like, "It was okay but it just didn't work out, we had different ideas of what we wanted."

2. Don't continuously talk about yourself on a date, it's rude and shows that you are self absorbed. You need to show an interest in the person you are with, so ask them questions about what they like to do, don't drag on about how when you were 5 you used to ice skate.

3. Don't give a detailed list of what happened to you that very day. No one wants to know what sandwich you ate for lunch, or what time you left home for a doctor's appointment. Just give a summation like, "I had an appointment and went out to lunch after. How was your day?"

When dating someone for the first time it is important to keep in mind that the person you are with is interested in you and does want to learn more about you. But you have to be sure not to give away too much information because then that person will lose interest in you. Keep things short and sweet unless more information is asked for.

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