Addiction Issues

Let's say you've met the perfect guy for you, and things have been going great. But since you've been getting to know more about him, you discover that he has an addiction. Maybe it's cigarettes, alright you can handle that it isn't that big of a deal; but maybe it is something a little more serious than that, and I don't mean weed. What if this guy has a full blown addiction to heroin?

Now this is a great guy, he makes you happy and you enjoy spending time with him, so what are you supposed to do when you find out that he has a serious drug problem?

You can't ignore the problem and pretend it isn't there, it is something that will negatively effect your relationship. The addiction could take over and ruin the relationship you are building, so what you need to do is confront him about it. Talk it over, discuss rehab possibilities and get some help for him. If it is something he is ashamed of he probably wants to stop, he just doesn't know how. The best thing you can do is be there for him, and help him through it by being there for him during the detox process.

Not every relationship can conquer a battle with drugs, but they can survive. You need to be able to handle the situation, and if you can't then you need to think about yourself and your emotional well being. Being there for the guy you like through his struggles can take a toll on your own personal health, so don't forget that you may need a break from the relationship. I've been there, and there is only so much you can do, but don't let the addiction take over your life as well. His health is important but your emotional health needs to be taken care of as well.

Even though he may be the perfect guy, a serious addiction can change how the relationship works. Be supportive, and understanding, but don't forget about yourself in the process.

Photo taken from: http://www.drugrehab.co.uk/images/outsyringe.jpeg

First Date Do's And Don'ts

First date's have unwritten rules, well they're being written now.

Do:
-Be charming
-Be polite
-Be witty
-Be yourself
-Eat slowly
-Laugh at jokes

Don't:
-Pick your nose
-Chew with your mouth open
-Dominate the conversation
-Try too hard
-Pick at how your date looks
-Pick at food between your teeth
-Fart/burp
-Bite your nails
-Flirt with the waiter/waitress
-Text someone else
-Have loud phone conversations
-Swear profusely
-Sneeze into your food
-Talk during a movie
-Don't interrupt
-Don't cheap out on the bill

Seems pretty simple, but we've all had horrible dates with someone. Sometimes it seems as though they aren't trying to impress you, and if any of those things occur on a first date that are on the "don't" list then I guarantee you won't get to date number two.

Photo taken from: http://www.learnamericanenglishonline.com/images/friends%20at%20theater%20talking.jpg

Things That Aren't Attractive To Women

There are certain styles, if that's what you can call them, that many guys have picked up lately. But let's be serious here the way you dress has a huge impact on whether a girl will date you or not, and you also look ridiculous.

Pull Up Your Pants
Really, no more Kevin Federline, he was famous for all of five seconds because he married and then knocked up the train wreck that is Britney Spears. So why do guys still dress like this douche-bag? Pants should cover your ass, there is no excuse for your boxers to be the only thing separating your hairy butt cheeks from society. Even worse are the guys that wear a belt with their pants that are dangling below the ass, most girls will not give you the time of day if you can't even remember to pull up those pants.

Bend The Rim
A baseball cap is meant to block the sun from your eyes, this is not very useful if the brim of your hat is flat. I'm not sure when this look started to become popular, but it is ridiculous. Your hat should not be sideways on your head nor should it have a flattened brim. What's worse than this is when the sticker is still on the brim (does that mean you might return it?) and when the brim is tilted up (you look like an idiot). This look does nothing for you unless you are looking for a girl that is really into that sort of thing, perhaps her name would be Shaniqua.

Fake Tans & Spiked Hair
After The Jersey Shore, I feel that these two go hand in hand. Normal girls, aka those that do not go by the name of Snooki, do not want to date a guy with an oompa loompa skin color. The spiked hair went out with boy bands, the over gelled style should not be worn anymore. If I tried to touch your hair my hand would probably bounce away from how much product is in it. Just because some idiots that appeared on MTV dressed like this does not mean that everyone else in the world wants to date you, do not model yourself off of anyone from the cast of The Jersey Shore unless it's to make fun of them.

There are many faux pas out there, but these are three that seem to be most prevalent to guys today. They will not attract a woman, in fact it will probably drive them away if they see these things.

Photo taken from: http://www.wiskate.com/news/data/upimages/tim_tizzy.jpg

Stalking Your Crush With Facebook

Let's be serious, we all do it. Don't sit there acting all high and mighty as though you don't try to find that person you like via Facebook, you're just lying to yourself. College makes Facebook stalking easier than ever because there is usually someone that knows the name of the person you think is cute/hot.
I know my guy friends will immediately log onto Facebook after dinner once they learned the name of some girl they thought was gorgeous. They look at her pictures, check to see if she is single, and they will look at the interests section to get an idea of what that girl is like. Most of us don't have the balls to go up to the person we like, and why would we when Facebook makes it ten times easier to just admire from afar?
Now if this creeps you out a bit, and it kind of should because chances are you've been Facebook creeped by someone you don't know, take the necessary precautions. There are ways to make your profile only available to people you are friends with, you can block your pictures and interests sections with the click of a mouse.
The days of casually walking up to someone and asking for their name and phone number are long gone because with Facebook we can probably get your name, phone number, screen name, and all the pictures we want of you just by entering your name in the search box.
You stalk, they stalk, I stalk via Facebook. Everyone has done this on multiple occasions but they don't like to own up to it. Don't be embarrassed about it because we all do it, but beware of your own account and don't be surprised if the one you're stalking suddenly makes their profile private. If that's the case either give up the hunt, friend request them, or simply try to be their friend outside of the internet.

Photo taken from: http://a4.vox.com/6a00d4142121106a4700e3989bbfc40003-500pi

Staying Friends After a Breakup

Breakups are difficult, but what's harder than the actual breakup? Staying friends. Most relationships end with one party mentioning that "but I don't want to lose you as a friend," sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't; actually almost every relationship ends and then there is no communication afterward. I've maintained one of my ex's as a close friend over the years and have made it work so that it is not awkward for either of us and here's how.

Same interests blossom a friendship: Depending on how long you were with your ex will depend on how close the two of you really were. Relationships are generally formed because you have a lot in common with that person, so keeping them as a friend shouldn't be too difficult. You both have the same interests and possibly the same hobbies all you have to do is make sure that you don't hang out as often as you did while dating, maybe once a week to start.

Distance is your friend: Keep some distance because you are broken up, so don't call or text your ex every moment of every day, they want freedom to meet other people so give them that freedom. But be there for them if they need to talk about something. This plays in with the interests portion, you have similar interests but you can't be together everyday because then you are reverting back to a relationship.

Don't get jealous: It's natural that your ex will become interested in other people besides you, so when they do don't let the green monster get loose. Your ex will probably feel the need to talk about their new crush with you because they value your opinion, but you have to be honest. Don't bad mouth someone that your ex likes because you don't want them dating someone else just give an honest opinion. You ended a relationship with this person so don't get ridiculously envious when they start hanging out with someone new.

These are three things I was able to do with one of my ex's and he and I are very close friends. We ended up with a great friendship that we didn't want to ruin, even though we thought about getting back together we both knew that it would ruin the friendship we both had. Not all ex's can become friends but there are some people you don't want to lose in your life, and if your ex is one of them play it cool and you should be able to maintain a decent friendship with them.

Photo taken from: http://www.breakupgirl.net/comics/images12/sfriends01.gif

Where To?

Once you have a date with someone the real problem is determining where to go. There are a lot of options but depending on what kind of environment you feel most comfortable in will vary on how well the date goes. Here are 3 suggestions on where to go for a date.

1. The Aquarium
It's a great place to walk around in, to spark discussions on either memories of field trips, or just about which sea creatures you think are the most interesting. It is a comfortable environment and there are always new exhibits to check out.

2. Day Trip
Day trips are perfect for getting to know the person you are dating. You can choose where to go based on where you live, but try to pick a place that has plenty of options on where to go and what to do while there. Maine is a wonderful state for this because it has beaches, shopping, restaurants, amusement parks, and tons of things to look at. Try to find neutral ground somewhere that has something for everyone so that you can please your date.

3. Dinner & Movie
Cliche I know but it's a classic that seems to work. The ideal would be that this is saved for something like a third date, not a first. Movies require silence and you should be comfortable enough with the person you are with to spend about two hours in a dark theater in silence. After the movie either get dinner, drinks, or dessert somewhere close by and just talk about the movie. It's a comfortable environment and allows for two locations in one night. Don't toss out this as a possible date night activity since it always seems to work.

There are always plenty of options but these three date ideas will help to get to know the person you are with, and allow you to not only learn more about them but to start feeling comfortable while doing things together by exploring new places.

Photo taken from: http://www.cheapdateideas.ca/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/dinnerandmovie.jpg

TMI

Too Much Information

A little goes a long way. When you are looking for someone to date, you don't want to scare them away with your whole life story. Most people get nervous and will just start rambling on and on about things that their date does not want to hear. How do you avoid this?

1. Don't reveal anything about an ex unless it was asked by your date. This person does not want the information on how that relationship went during each month you dated your ex. Just give a brief summary of the relationship like, "It was okay but it just didn't work out, we had different ideas of what we wanted."

2. Don't continuously talk about yourself on a date, it's rude and shows that you are self absorbed. You need to show an interest in the person you are with, so ask them questions about what they like to do, don't drag on about how when you were 5 you used to ice skate.

3. Don't give a detailed list of what happened to you that very day. No one wants to know what sandwich you ate for lunch, or what time you left home for a doctor's appointment. Just give a summation like, "I had an appointment and went out to lunch after. How was your day?"

When dating someone for the first time it is important to keep in mind that the person you are with is interested in you and does want to learn more about you. But you have to be sure not to give away too much information because then that person will lose interest in you. Keep things short and sweet unless more information is asked for.

Picture taken from: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnjNkLySk_w7Cn4ypiIJ0-x2xQXjFdhWWDmDNif78CmetY2kpJ_JReHGeZzwQKigLJA5CXmJhSQd4b5Gk1LDzXzUhav6UxDo19biECD5OCwOpLYALIQh608EhjDfJMAkIeyz7jDInTOYB5/s320/too+much+information.gif

An Open Letter To My Crazy Ex

I am tired of you calling my house trying to reach me, I have caller-id do you really think I'll pick up? You have "bumped" into me at my own work, where you know I can't escape your gaze, you have just happened to take a walk down my street when you knew I was home.

You have sent me long text messages asking to get back with you, to forgive you, to let everything go back to the way it was. Did you not understand that I don't want to be with a cheater and a liar?
You have lost all of my trust, you have tried to sabotage any attempt I have made at meeting someone new, you are bat-shit crazy.

Do you not get that once we stopped talking two years ago that we were never going to start talking again? I do not want to revisit the "romance" we once had, the times when you burped in my face, and had your mom drive us because you forgot to pay your car insurance.

No I do not want to see you when I'm working. No I do not want to read long e-mails and texts saying how you made a mistake by sleeping around and treating me so badly. No I do not want to take a walk with you to remember the good days. No I do not want to receive messages saying how you think I'm beautiful because you're getting to be border line creepy.

I gave up on our relationship over two years ago, but you can't get it through your head. I have moved on and so should you. I've changed my number and e-mail address, and won't answer you no matter what. I memorized your numbers so I never have to pick up another call from you.

Please grow up and get a life that does not revolve around me.

Signed,
Your Pissed Off Ex-Girlfriend

Picture taken from: http://www.foxnews.com/images/488161/0_61_text_message.jpg

Meeting the Parents

So you've been dating someone for awhile now, depending on how old you are this could be a few months, weeks, or longer. But sooner or later you have to meet your boyfriend/girlfriend's parents. This is the dreaded process of awkward hello's, and just a general feeling of uncomfortableness. You are suddenly just as nervous as you were for the first date, but now you are being sized up and judged by these people who are more than likely rather intimidating.
This process is nerve racking, you might sweat profusely, talk faster than normal, bounce your leg while you sit, or maybe you get shy and just freeze up. Relax. Although this experience is scary for almost everyone you need to try to keep calm and maintain a cool composure. First impressions stick with parents and if you are dating their son or daughter you need to show them that you are the person that can make their child happy. Just use your manners and be polite, throw in a sir or miss, never call them by their first name unless they've said that it is okay to do so. You don't want to be too informal the first time you meet them.


Don't shake hands like this

Before you meet them think of things to talk about, perhaps mention the nice decor of the house, or how you hear that they love to go hiking. Having something to talk about not only breaks the ice but shows that you took interest in them and therefore listened to what their son or daughter had to say about them.
Don't get all tense when meeting the parents for the first time, because each time you see them after will only get easier and easier. So inhale slowly, pop an Altoid into your mouth, and put on some extra deodorant.

Photo taken from: http://wrestlingthehyperbole.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/superstock_255-247341.jpg

5 Things You Shouldn't Do On a Social Networking Site

Nowadays it seems as though everyone has a Facebook, Twitter, Formspringme, and or a Tumblr. These sites are just a way to fill up the free time in our day to day life. As entertaining and time consuming these social networking sites may be detrimental to your “real” social life.

1. Don’t Answer Questions You Aren’t Comfortable With
This mostly relates to the Formspringme website, http://www.formspring.me/, where anyone can sign up for it so that their friends or random people can ask them questions. This can be totally anonymous so people seem to feel a bit risky when it comes to asking questions. What most people don’t quite get is that just because they are asked an inappropriate question such as how often they have sex, or how often they masturbate (yes people have asked these questions, cause you know we’re on a need-to-know basis)but you don’t need to answer this. Ever. You can simply delete the question and never answer it, but if you do answer it either jokingly or not you are putting that on your little internet identity forever. Since most anyone can find you on Formspringme this leaves possible future dating partners aware of things about you that you may not have wanted them to know. Here’s a hint if it isn’t a comfortable question/topic for you don’t feel the need to answer it.

2. Don’t Update Your Status Every 5 Minutes
No one cares what sandwich you ate at lunch, or how bored you are because no one is around. Think about this; if you are trying to date someone and they see that you update your status on Facebook or on Twitter every minute of every day they will see you have nothing to do, or that you are totally obsessed with sitting at your computer and they won’t want to go out to get to know you. Instead of locking yourself up in your room and letting everyone on your friend’s list see that you clearly have nothing better to do with your life shows them you have no interests. If you like to go outside, go outside but don’t tell everyone you are going outside, just do it.

3. Don’t Confess Things on Tumblr Only to Deny it on Formspringme
This seems fairly obvious, especially if you are linking your Tumblr account to your Formspring page but I know someone who has done this. If you are allowing people to see your Tumblr account and they can read anything you write there, assume that they are. And if these people are reading that, it also means that they are probably reading the answers you are giving on Formspringme. For example if you tell everyone on Formspringme you were really heartbroken about your ex breaking up with you, don’t make a post on Tumblr saying that you only dated that person to get close to one of their friends. By contradicting yourself it makes your friends, and a possible future boyfriend/girlfriend see that you are not a totally honest person. You can’t say one thing on one website and something totally different on another website. Since anyone can access these pages you need to just watch what you say on both, you cannot have multiple identities when you are linking everything back together.

4. Don’t Tell Everyone Where You Are Going
This relates to step 2 of not constantly updating your status or Twitter account, however you also need to ensure that you are not telling people exact locations and/or addresses of the places you are going to. You should not let everyone in the free world know exactly where you are, it is almost inviting people to find you, or to simply rob your house if you are not home and telling everyone that you aren’t there.

5. Beware of Pictures
Make sure that whatever pictures you have on Facebook are pictures you want everyone to see. These sites can be viewed by future employers or by future mates. If it is embarrassing, or detrimental to your future career or dating life try not to post it. That means that you should probably not put up pictures that show you are begging for attention such as no shirt pictures or with you wearing skimpy clothing in front of a mirror. These pictures show no class and are very tasteless. Show who you really are not who you are trying to be.

Just beware of what you post online, it can affect your future. If you are single make sure to show you are available but not desperate. Don’t be glued to technology everyday of your life or you will seem like a loner and no one will really want to date someone who is already in a relationship with their computer.

image taken from: http://digitisation.jiscinvolve.org/files/2009/06/social_networking_sites.jpg